A note from the Headmistress

[Dadaist]

It has come to my attention that some of our pupils have been counting.

This behaviour will not be tolerated and must stop immediately.

It has also come to my attention that some pupils have sought to increase their standing in the eyes of their peers by pressing their buttocks next to the school goal posts and farting loudly - so-called "Post Pumping". This must also stop, and to this end I will be moving the goalposts at an unspecified time of my choosing.

I have been informed by some parents that Mr Wangle, the school plumber, has in my absence (at my annual family SAS Survival Course in the Chilterns) been acting in a strange manner.

As a member of staff Mr Wangle has my full support - however his wholesale burning of students' History homework was perhaps outside his remit.

In his defence, Mr Wangle has stated that "those buffoons kept repeating that Hitler invaded Europe. This is incorrect - at no point did he invade Switzerland. People should stop going on about France and Poland and remember that Switzerland remained uninvaded for the entire war."

Any pupil who wishes to put in a complaint should do so in Latin and have it on my desk yesterday.

Euphemia Foxtrot, School Headmistress

[Pal of Porty]

2

[Dadaist]

2

You'd better not be being frivolous, boy. I'll have you in Mr Bumble's office if I find out you're being frivolous.

Mr Bumble *hates* frivolity.

[Sandra]

[Puerto bella]

Ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora.
A moto quaeramuns seria ludo.
Aequam memento rebus in arduis sevare mentem.

[Black Mamba]

Very imressive Puerto bella. The only problem is I don't understand a word of it.

Well I did notice you mentioned Rebus. I like the Rebus books

6

[Epykat]

Ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora.
A moto quaeramuns seria ludo.
Aequam memento rebus in arduis sevare mentem.

I was just thinking the same thing

[ali]

Ad praesens ova cras pullis sunt meliora.
A moto quaeramuns seria ludo.
Aequam memento rebus in arduis sevare mentem.

I did latin at school...........

It says

"To the present eggs each pullett will be crassly ameliorated
and a small japanese motorbike will play ludo serially and the
aquatic memories inspector in hardship will sever the brain"

or something like that. (it was a long time ago )

[foxy]

Utter rubbish

It obviously says...to with a ready ova tomorrow to increase are better. A motto will be to look earnestly for sequence ludo l. Justice memento a things upon lofty severe mind

[Puerto bella]

Keep guessing, you guys mustn't have had compulsory latin from P6. Although as I recall, I spent much of the time chatting, eating under the desk and generally carrying on. The teacher, an old spinster who kept a multitude of cats, reeked of pee was as on the ball as you would expect at a convent! Maybe that's why it closed down?

[Epykat]

I also did Latin at the school with no playing fields.

Loosely translated it says:

Preserved eggs go well with melon
As said by the serial ludo player Moto
Rebus arduously severed the brain under water as a memento.

Obviously sometimes things are lost a bit in translation, but you get the drift.

[Pal of Porty]

I also did Latin at the school with no playing fields.

So that will be why you can translate languages but never made the rugby team. If only we had both!

[Puerto bella]

That's so funny - gave e a good giggle.

[Epykat]

I also did Latin at the school with no playing fields.

So that will be why you can translate languages but never made the rugby team. If only we had both!

And what did being in the rugby team do for you? You can't even translate a simple bit of Latin

[Dadaist]

It has come to my attention that some pupils are wondering why there has been a delay in the latest batch of scones to come from Mrs Mitkins kitchens.

This kind of questioning behaviour is unacceptable.

Mrs Mitkins, due to various other baking commitments, will be delivering the delayed scones in due course - probably some time in September.

I'd like to thank Mr Mitkins and her helpers for their tireless, thankless and floury dedication to the bakery stall. There's a lot of work going on behind the scenes that you pupils don't appreciate - wiping the egg-timer, sharpening pencils and triplicating the minutes of the daily baking committee.

In a world of cutbacks and downsizing, we are lucky to have such a well-staffed kitchen, and any accusations of bloat will be treated as insubordination - with concomitant loss of tuck shop privileges.

You have been warned.

[Epykat]

I don't know what's taking her so long. She started making them at 8.30 last Thursday for goodness sake

[Scoop]

It has come to my attention that some pupils are wondering why there has been a delay in the latest batch of scones to come from Mrs Mitkins kitchens.

This kind of questioning behaviour is unacceptable.

Mrs Mitkins, due to various other baking commitments, will be delivering the delayed scones in due course - probably some time in September.

I'd like to thank Mr Mitkins and her helpers for their tireless, thankless and floury dedication to the bakery stall. There's a lot of work going on behind the scenes that you pupils don't appreciate - wiping the egg-timer, sharpening pencils and triplicating the minutes of the daily baking committee.

In a world of cutbacks and downsizing, we are lucky to have such a well-staffed kitchen, and any accusations of bloat will be treated as insubordination - with concomitant loss of tuck shop privileges.

You have been warned.