News Flood

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 24 Jul 2007, 13:40

Southwest England and indeed much of the country was last night bracing itself for another day of news, as the latest news floods continue to interrupt schedules across the nation.

The flood of coverage was said to have peaked last night by news analysts, at one point reaching the top of the evening schedules, threatening to swamp home improvement and soap opera programming.

The steady stream of news over the past month gave way last week to a sudden outpouring of newsflashes - swamping headlines and causing other programming to sink under the mucky deluge of bursting news.

"There's just so many ways for the news to get in" said one concerned local. "You think you've done enough - nailed shut the letterbox, put the tv upstairs - but it always finds a way to seep in."

The drip effect of sporadic news and rolling news has been especially difficult to cope with for the elderly, reports confirm - prompting appeals for the army to intervene and help clear some roads which have become choked with reporters, and rescue people stranded in a sea of news.

London itself, our proud and historic capital, home of the Queen and seat of government, itself looks to be threatened by the volume of reporting.

Fears of an outbreak of bad news have been subtly played down by Sky News. Reporting from a 2cm strip at the top of the screen, (the rest being devoted to a banner reading "TERROR") Kay Burley-Reporting said "our response is not disproportionate or in any way scaremongering".

Talking from the conning tower of the Sky News submarine, moored just off the embankment, Burley-Reporting added "people shouldn't worry about bad news infections - that's why we're devoting 6 hours to an in depth piece on bad news infections, complete with interviews with victims, analysis by experts, and footage from you the public."

Coverage of the recent news floods from the BBC has been multi-faceted. Viewers will tonight be able to choose between Jeremy Paxman's think-piece on BBC2 : "Is the changing information climate to blame for the recent flood of news?" or News Floodwatch with Bill Oddie, Michaela Strachan and Graham Norton on BBC1.

BBC3 were due to host a special News Flood Phone-in competition, but this has been cancelled.

ali · Post by **ali** » 24 Jul 2007, 13:58

The BBC 6 o'clock news last night was vomit-inducing in its hyperbole.

One woman near Oxford was described as "facing up to the horror and devastation" which turned out to be some wooden garden furniture bobbing around in a pub beer garden.

The worst offender is Richard Bilton who could bring tears to a glass eye with his heart wrenching "reporting" delivered in a sort of faux-working class "northern" accent reminiscent of a 1970's Hovis telly ad.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 24 Jul 2007, 18:39

Hey this is spooky...I remember this nursery rhyme from primary

Dr Foster went to Gloucester
In a shower of rain
He stepped in a puddle
Right up to his middle
And never went there again

...written by Nostradamus perhaps

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 24 Jul 2007, 19:04

Just to put our current problems into perspective:

Floods in Pakistan have killed 350 people and displaced more than 200,000 this year, according to the National Disaster Management Authority.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 24 Jul 2007, 19:07

My "Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes" suggests that the poem describes an incident when Edward I of Ingerland's horse once got stck so deep in the mud of a Gloucester street that plants had to be laid on the ground before the creature could regain its footing. Eddie is said to have refused ever to to visit the city again. Although how Dr F = King E, it does not explain!

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 24 Jul 2007, 22:26

Poppy wrote: Although how Dr F = King E, it does not explain!

As a moderator, Poppy, you should be trying to set an example, not trying to circumnavigate the profanity filter. There are children reading this forum, you know. Quite a lot of them.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 24 Jul 2007, 22:29

Nelson Hatstand wrote: There are children reading this forum, you know. Quite a lot of them.

Don't tempt me, Coathook, to make the obvious and predictable riposte!!

ali · Post by **ali** » 24 Jul 2007, 22:55

Poppy wrote:My "Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes" suggests that the poem describes an incident when Edward I of Ingerland's horse once got stck so deep in the mud of a Gloucester street that plants had to be laid on the ground before the creature could regain its footing. Eddie is said to have refused ever to to visit the city again. Although how Dr F = King E, it does not explain!

You mean "planks" surely? You're losing it tonight, Pops.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 24 Jul 2007, 22:56

Watch it, Ali, or I'll plank you.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 24 Jul 2007, 23:06

There's a lot of planks reading this forum too.