the tartan thread

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 May 2007, 20:48

It's regime change time!

Hoots mon, och aye!

All of a sudden, Porty has fallen under the spell of the flag-waving Nationalists. Please put away your Union Flags and break out your Saltires, and also those ones with the dragon on them - you know, the yellow and red ones.

Let's celebrate all things Scottish as we ponder our fate under the yoke of our new masters.

Not only are Holyrood and the City Chambers under the thrall of tartan, but we now have a local MSP and councillor of that ilk.

I'd like to suggest changing the forum style to tartan, having skirling music wafting from speakers when one clicks a particularly patriotic thread, and a themed "tartan" avatar theme whereby one can show solidarity (sorry Tommy) with the McPoliticians who now rule us.

Here is a special download for you, that bit in "Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers" where it is played always brings a tear to my eye :

The Pipes And Drums And Military Band Of The Scottish Division - "Amazing Grace"

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 May 2007, 21:02

Good to see someone embracing change instead of railing against it!!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 May 2007, 21:12

Poppy wrote:Good to see someone embracing change instead of railing against it!!

Indeed - and that's exactly what great uncle Petain used to say.

Jamesie · Post by **Jamesie** » 13 May 2007, 22:08

I embraced change a long time ago.

You'll see the great Scottish songster Tommy Scott as my avator, and he has been present in my postings for the last couple of years. I am happy that Dadaist has allowed me the opportunity to quash rumours that I am Tommy Scott. I can confirm I am not.

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 13 May 2007, 22:12

Oh well, if you can't beat 'em....

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 13 May 2007, 22:15

Bob Jefferson wrote:Oh well, if you can't beat 'em....

I think you'll find that a true Scotsman would have made that Boab McJefferson

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 May 2007, 22:40

Help ma Boab!

What I want now is a picture of one of those dolls they sell the tourists.

The ones in the plastic tubes, fully tartaned up, you know the ones - same quality dolly as a bog roll holder and maybe with some sort of gun or sword affixed to its hand with a small elastic band.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 May 2007, 22:43

Epykat wrote:I think you'll find that a true Scotsman would have made that Boab McJefferson

Or even MacJeffer - the "son" being somewhat redundant after "Mac/Mc"!!

Even better: Rabbie MacJeffer!!

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 May 2007, 22:50

Dadaist wrote:What I want now is a picture of one of those dolls they sell the tourists..

Try this SCARY site!!

The Sailor Boy (with his boat) reminds me of Nelson Hatstand.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 13 May 2007, 23:02

Yikes. That site is a vision of hell.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 May 2007, 23:07

Dadaist wrote:Yikes. That site is a vision of hell.

bearcub · Post by **bearcub** » 14 May 2007, 20:01

We could start new web address, you know...instead of .com or .co.uk, we could have .bs - everyone would instantly recognise us as being from "dot.BonnieScotland".

Then we could all have Porty.bs email addresses.

Och aye, tht wld b sooooo kwl! $\:D/$

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 14 May 2007, 20:14

I would take so much pleasure in creating .bs content.

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 14 May 2007, 20:21

Poppy wrote:
The Sailor Boy (with his boat) reminds me of Nelson Hatstand.

Thanks Poopster. I'll take that as a compliment. He looks lovely.

Do you think the dolls beneath my lookalike are spelling evil (phonetically anyway) on purpose? They certainly look it.

Jamesie wrote:
You'll see the great Scottish songster Tommy Scott as my avator

I always thought it was the big hairy cornflake.

I'm glad that the Scots Nationalism Pardy has got in, if only because it's annoyed Bob so much, and to celebrate I'd like to offer this lovely recipe for that most Scotch of creations - handed down to me by my great aunt on the Glaswegian side of my family - the humble Drop Scone (or Droap Scoan, sorry). Get your girdles greased, ladies.

Ingredients: 8 oz plain flour, salt, level teaspoon of cream of tartar, level teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda, 5 teaspoons of caster sugar, standard egg and a quarter pint of milk.

Method: Heat a girdle or heavy based frying pan and lightly grease. Sift flour, salt, cream of tartar and bicarbonate of soda together and mix in the caster sugar. Create a well in the centre and add the egg and some of the milk. Slowly mix the flour into the egg and milk, adding more milk as you go, until you have a mixture which has the consistency of thick batter.

Drop a small amount of batter onto the greased girdle or pan - bubbles should rise to the top in a few seconds, if it is the right temperature. Drop in enough mixture to make individual small scones. When the underside is brown (and bubbles are bursting on the top) turn over and cook the other side. You may need to regrease the pan after each batch.

Serve warm with butter and honey or jam/jelly. Or try buttering them and sprinkling with light brown sugar! Or do as I do, and swallow them down quickly to rid your mouth of the taste of roadkill.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 14 May 2007, 20:32

Nelson Hatstand wrote:
Poppy wrote: You'll see the great Scottish songster Tommy Scott as my avator

Eh? Fit? Whit? Paaadon? Whaaa'? I never wrote that!!

As usual, I'm confused, dear Coathook

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 14 May 2007, 20:44

Poppy wrote:
Nelson Hatstand wrote:
Poppy wrote: You'll see the great Scottish songster Tommy Scott as my avator
Eh? Fit? Whit? Paaadon? Whaaa'? I never wrote that!!

As usual, I'm confused, dear Coathook

Sorry. My mistake. I have edited. Please forgive me etc.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 14 May 2007, 20:45

aviator?

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 14 May 2007, 21:05

And you could even use a Clan crest.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 14 May 2007, 21:36

Nelson Hatstand wrote:Sorry. My mistake. I have edited. Please forgive me etc.

You are forgiven, you wee monkey!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 14 May 2007, 21:53

Pal of Porty wrote:And you could even use a Clan crest.

Never liked mine- it's a small dog.

Beg pardon - it's a wee dug.

Post by **wangi** » 14 May 2007, 22:04

*Sulk* I spent an hour last night trying to find a photo of my tartan I took... In the end I only came across a photo of some dirty cogs.

EDIT: of course, now I find it:

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 14 May 2007, 22:25

That's a great new avatar, wangi!

Post by **wangi** » 14 May 2007, 22:36

Cheers, thought it was time for a change!

rathbone · Post by **rathbone** » 15 May 2007, 09:32

This one covers me, Epykat and Sunnyporty (sometimes literally):

"Sub Sole Sub Umbra Virens"

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 15 May 2007, 09:46

Behold this garish article. This is apparently an example of one of my clan's tartans along with the crest. Those tusks are rather fetching.

I nicked it off some Yank's website. No idea what the motto says or means.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 15 May 2007, 09:48

Rathers, your avatar passes the McMuster.

Our thoughts are with you, as you have to live not only away from the motherland, but in that place.

Should we have a distinct Sassenach thread, folderol and hey nonny nonny, or should all that stuff be part of this one?

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 15 May 2007, 10:25

A picture from the family album
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v388/ ... ANDALR.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
and especially for Nelson Hatstand and other sassenachs, here's how you should
pronounce my clan name in the mother tongue, remembering to gather a bit of phlegm in your throat first.

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 15 May 2007, 10:38

No tartan kitch in oor hoose!
Clanger 1 was given this as a birthday pressie

Thankfully it doesn't work

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 15 May 2007, 11:58

I think we should have a Gathering O' The Clans where we watch stirringly patriotic films like "Highlander" and "Braveheart", and also the Bonnie Prince Charlie one that stars Dave Niven.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 15 May 2007, 21:03

Here's my discreet tartan:

and crest:

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 15 May 2007, 21:10

ecm wrote:Behold this garish article. This is apparently an example of one of my clan's tartans along with the crest. Those tusks are rather fetching.

I nicked it off some Yank's website. No idea what the motto says or means.

"Tusks", you say?!! Look more closely: 'tis a dug with bad teeth and a bone in its slavering jaws!! Honest!

"audentes fortuna juvat" means "fortune favours the bold", BTW.(looked it up, hoping it would something naff to mock you with!!

)

rapunzell · Post by **rapunzell** » 15 May 2007, 22:36

I've a pair of tartan curtains in the cupboard and feel I ought to hang them up now...

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 16 May 2007, 06:45

rapunzell wrote:I've a pair of tartan curtains in the cupboard and feel I ought to hang them up now...

Now is the time and now is the hour for all patriotic Scots to wear their curtains wi pride.

Now go and get yer oats.

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 16 May 2007, 09:47

Poppy wrote:
ecm wrote:Behold this garish article. This is apparently an example of one of my clan's tartans along with the crest. Those tusks are rather fetching.

I nicked it off some Yank's website. No idea what the motto says or means.
"Tusks", you say?!! Look more closely: 'tis a dug with bad teeth and a bone in its slavering jaws!! Honest!

"audentes fortuna juvat" means "fortune favours the bold", BTW.(looked it up, hoping it would something naff to mock you with!! )

well, boar/dog whatever the hell it is, it's an ugly thing and I don't like it.

I'm going to design myself a new crest. Something fluffier and prettier than that hellish pig-dog.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 16 May 2007, 10:46

ecm, this isn't heraldry. Just make sure your "fluffy" and "pretty" thing, whatever it is, has about it an air of pride in the face of austerity and struggle, and has just finished killing something from across the border.