Sheryl Crow calls for bog roll restrictions

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 23 Apr 2007, 14:14

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm

3 sheets max, and only then if it's "troublesome"

wtmf????

do her poos have a bog brush attached to the end, self-cleaning her celebrity sphincter?

my life, if every celebrity has an opinion like this on some privation one must endure in order to appease the latest environmental mores then we've got a miserable life ahead of us

we got one of those mega packs of bumwipe from Costco - in Sheryl Crow's house this may well be a lifetime supply but not here in Dada Towers.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 23 Apr 2007, 14:17

Maybe not but then again how good would you have been doing the harmony on Shiny Happy People?

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 23 Apr 2007, 14:23

Porty wrote:Maybe not but then again how good would you have been doing the harmony on Shiny Happy People?

This goes in the same bag as when I "invented" the car with a steering wheel on each end, and you said that there already was a "push me - pull you" or something.

There must already be plenty of patents logged for bottom cleanliness - and it wouldn't surprise me if someone invented a capsule with enteric coating such that it emerged as a functioning cleaning system attached to the end of each poo - like the corkscrew bit on the end of a torpedo.

I'm sure you'd sing like a canary.

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 23 Apr 2007, 14:28

Porty wrote:Maybe not but then again how good would you have been doing the harmony on Shiny Happy People?

Probably not bad, but not as good as Kate Pierson, I'll bet.

I hate Sheryl Crow for lots of reasons, not least of all musically, but this takes the biscuit.
She and her campaign can definitely 'get to Falkirk' as far as I'm concerned.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 23 Apr 2007, 14:29

Shiny Happy Poo Hole

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 23 Apr 2007, 18:04

Dadaist wrote:http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6583067.stm

3 sheets max, and only then if it's "troublesome"

wtmf????

do her poos have a bog brush attached to the end, self-cleaning her celebrity sphincter?

my life, if every celebrity has an opinion like this on some privation one must endure in order to appease the latest environmental mores then we've got a miserable life ahead of us

we got one of those mega packs of bumwipe from Costco - in Sheryl Crow's house this may well be a lifetime supply but not here in Dada Towers.

What an eejit! As Ricky Tomlinson would say "one square my arse."

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 23 Apr 2007, 18:08

Maybe like a lot of celebrities she just doesn't eat? Or has colonic irrigation on a daily basis?

bearcub · Post by **bearcub** » 23 Apr 2007, 18:30

Who's going to monitor the "one-square" rule, and will every house have a mediator in case of disputable "troublesome-ness".

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 23 Apr 2007, 18:39

I am going to market a roll whose sheets are 4ft long each. Dragon's Den will love this genuine innovative entrepreneurialness.

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 23 Apr 2007, 19:58

Saw Sheryls comments today.
Was puzzled
Does she use a bidet instead?

Does she propose policing this by making us leave the used sheet in a bin Greek style?

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 23 Apr 2007, 20:03

Why use two,
When one will do....

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 23 Apr 2007, 20:06

Dadaist wrote:I am going to market a roll whose sheets are 4ft long each. Dragon's Den will love this genuine innovative entrepreneurialness.

I think the Dragons will worry about how easy and quickly the well established loo roll manufacturers could copy you. Before I consider investing, I need to know, "Do you have a patent?"

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 23 Apr 2007, 20:23

Pal of Porty wrote:
Dadaist wrote:I am going to market a roll whose sheets are 4ft long each. Dragon's Den will love this genuine innovative entrepreneurialness.
I think the Dragons will worry about how easy and quickly the well established loo roll manufacturers could copy you. Before I consider investing, I need to know, "Do you have a patent?"

What about a business plan? What are your profits? Have you approached any retailers?.................

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 23 Apr 2007, 20:39

Nah but I've wrote a song innit.

BIIIG ROLL

you only need one sheet

BIIIIG ROLL

it wipes yer bum a treat

BIIIG ROLL

excited is how we feel

BIIIG ROLL

see you again at Seafield

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 23 Apr 2007, 20:51

What a catchy little ditty.

If it worked for Reggie sauce................
You could go in wearing a Big Roll

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 23 Apr 2007, 20:55

I'm feeling a certain synergistic relationship between the initial hot nip of Reggae Reggae Sauce and the relaxing wipe of Big Roll.

That song has a ring to it OH NO, PUN ALERT - THREAD DEATH - AAARGH!

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 23 Apr 2007, 21:17

What about doing novelty themes

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 23 Apr 2007, 21:22

Is this your loo after your trip to Costco

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 23 Apr 2007, 21:22

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 23 Apr 2007, 21:37

To be fair to the brush, it didn't actually say it was being used for teeth.

My mum used to keep a bag of old toothbrushes for if we ever came home with dog's dirt on our shoes. Boy did I ever not want there to be a mixup.

rathbone · Post by **rathbone** » 24 Apr 2007, 09:40

Dadaist wrote:My mum used to keep a bag of old toothbrushes for if we ever came home with dog's dirt on our shoes.

Mrs. R. still does.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 24 Apr 2007, 09:48

Dadaist wrote: My mum used to keep a bag of old toothbrushes for if we ever came home with dog's dirt on our shoes. Boy did I ever not want there to be a mixup.

Neither wonder. You would have looked like Ali Bongo with toothbrushes on your feet, especially if they were odd.

rathbone · Post by **rathbone** » 24 Apr 2007, 09:53

Porty wrote: Ali Bongo

Now there's a name to conjure with.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 24 Apr 2007, 09:58

You got to be old to get that one.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 24 Apr 2007, 12:58

Not that old. Wasn't he married to her that played the jewel thief a couple of times in Bergerac - you know, the one he used to fancy and let her get away?

She was on Give Us A Clue too.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 24 Apr 2007, 13:05

Dadaist wrote:Not that old. Wasn't he married to her that played the jewel thief a couple of times in Bergerac - you know, the one he used to fancy and let her get away?

She was on Give Us A Clue too.

...speaking of Give Us a Clue, I just discovered that Una Stubbs is 70 this year...unlelievable..I thought she'd just be in her 50's...I'm turning into my mum

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 24 Apr 2007, 13:08

I thought Ali Bongo was married to Victoria Wood so looked him up on Wikipedia. His real name is William Wallace

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 24 Apr 2007, 13:13

Marya wrote:I thought Ali Bongo was married to Victoria Wood so looked him up on Wikipedia. His real name is William Wallace

That's what I was about to say Marya. You beat me to it. I'm sure he was married (or still is) to Victoria Wood.

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 24 Apr 2007, 13:15

I heard a story from a parent the other other day. Her toddler had gone into the bathroom picked up the toilet brish, put it to one side, then picked up the toilet brush holder and drunk the contents! Eeeewwww

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 24 Apr 2007, 13:16

VW was married to Geoffrey Durham an English comedy magician who was known for many years as The Great Soprendo.

They separated in 2002.

(Courtesy of Wikipedia)

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 24 Apr 2007, 13:41

Ahhh that's right Poppy (what a smartypants). I remember him now.
He was a chubby cheery chappie. Now that you've jogged my memory did he not write the material Ali Bongo used?

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 24 Apr 2007, 14:27

Poppy wrote:VW was married to Geoffrey Durham an English comedy magician who was known for many years as The Great Soprendo.

They separated in 2002.

(Courtesy of Wikipedia)

Tying the knot with a magician must be a tricky business.

rapunzell · Post by **rapunzell** » 24 Apr 2007, 14:34

Porty wrote:
Poppy wrote:VW was married to Geoffrey Durham an English comedy magician who was known for many years as The Great Soprendo.

They separated in 2002.

(Courtesy of Wikipedia)
Tying the knot with a magician must be a tricky business.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 24 Apr 2007, 14:37

I was thinking of Liza Goddard. She was married to Alvin Stardust.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 24 Apr 2007, 15:19

And Alvin got religion. Back to Ali Bongo; didn't he make a sort of comeback on Tiswaz or Swap Shop?

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

Sheryl Crow calls for bog roll restrictions

Sheryl Crow calls for bog roll restrictions

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