Buy a Fake Cat

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 05 Dec 2006, 19:41

They are sooooo much better than the real thing. No fur balls, no staring, no mouse catching and no food bills. And best of all no urine smells. They don't get fat, you can buy a real xmas tree, they don't have cygnets and no-one gets offended if you kick it a shot.

I'm positive a live cat has absolutely no benefit over the fake version, unless anyone can explan otherwise?

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 05 Dec 2006, 20:48

Porty wrote:I'm positive a live cat has absolutely no benefit over the fake version, unless anyone can explan otherwise?

Live cats upset you .... a great benefit to us all as it amuses and entertains us.

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 05 Dec 2006, 21:29

Porty wrote:They are sooooo much better than the real thing. No fur balls, no staring, no mouse catching and no food bills. And best of all no urine smells. They don't get fat, you can buy a real xmas tree, they don't have cygnets and no-one gets offended if you kick it a shot.

I'm positive a live cat has absolutely no benefit over the fake version, unless anyone can explan otherwise?

why?

with fake animal you don't get TLC, yes it can sometimes be a pain to walk bess in the pouring rain and winter cold but I'd miss her a lot if she wasn't here.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 05 Dec 2006, 21:34

Sandra wrote:yes it can sometimes be a pain to walk bess in the pouring rain and winter cold

That's why cats are better than dogs!!

**ducks**

PS Note how Portly slips in the bit about cats "staring" - that's really what bothers him because he knows that they know that he knows that they are superior beings and that catly stare shows it!!

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 05 Dec 2006, 21:43

Sandra wrote:
with fake animal you don't get TLC, yes it can sometimes be a pain to walk bess in the pouring rain and winter cold but I'd miss her a lot if she wasn't here.

Just like I miss our dog!

Yes they're a tie and yes they have to be walked in all weathers, but I'd do almost anything to have her back again!!!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 05 Dec 2006, 21:52

Still miss my cat after 5 years although I dont mourn the passing of the mice, stick insects and fish as much. The rats -hmm occasionally think of getting another. Would like another cats but we're rather crowded at present and Clanger 2 is allergic.

Beware of " substitute" animals in the form of Tamagochi's. They need cleaned, fed, petted and looked after just as much as the real thing. And guess who had to look after them whilst Clangers were at school. ME.
If anyone doesn't know these were wee toys that beeped and grew (in Virtual reality) or got sick and died if uncared for, eventually got banned from schools so I had 4 of the wee darlings to look after. A baseball bat or rolling pin started to look a good idea and dont get me started on furbies..... found one in the dark when we cleaned out the coal cupboard....

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 05 Dec 2006, 21:58

I was sure furbies had a life of their own .We had a few at the time and ended up I am sure haunting me.

Maybe it was I kept putting them in the bucket but still ended up in the house

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 05 Dec 2006, 22:02

rats are great pets!!

We had one that used to go outside pick up stones and hide them behind the washing machine!!!

rapunzell · Post by **rapunzell** » 05 Dec 2006, 22:20

My rat was quite good company sometimes. She sat on my shoulder during lectures and peeked out at whoever was sitting behind me.

She's gone to the great rat burial ground in the sky, well, Arthur's Seat.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 05 Dec 2006, 22:34

Izzie wrote:I was sure furbies had a life of their own .We had a few at the time and ended up I am sure haunting me.

I arranged a mortgage for a client called Furby a year or two ago...do any of yours now live locally

Izzie · Post by **Izzie** » 05 Dec 2006, 22:40

I knew it they have all grown up and going to send their off spring to get me

They must have got out the bucket and gone into hiding waiting for the day to strike back at me

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 05 Dec 2006, 22:57

Clanger 4 took the refound furbie to bits, very weird going into the room and seeing the eyes looking out from the shelf all on their own, very spooky.

I used to wander round the house with one of the rats on my shoulder, got some odd looks off the postie when he rang the bell

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 06 Dec 2006, 01:18

Porty ... cats love you right back!!!

When you least the expect it, they jump up on to your lap and start padding your tummy to make a nest, look you straight in the eye, stretch up and lick your ear then cuddle into your neck ... then they'll fart on your arm before settling down to make a nice soft pillow of you.

They know who's boss!!! And so do you. Cats are for life!

Dogs ... on the other hand ... are as thick as two short planks! Everyone knows this!

Loveable animals, but really ... they drew the short straw on intelligence.

Cats have you trained quicker than you realise it!

In nature, the cat is equalled only by the Dolphin.

Sheep are the stupidest animal ... like ever!!!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 06 Dec 2006, 11:08

Cleopas wrote: Porty ... cats love you right back!!!

When you least the expect it, they jump up on to your lap and start padding your tummy to make a nest, look you straight in the eye, stretch up and lick your ear then cuddle into your neck ... then they'll fart on your arm before settling down to make a nice soft pillow of you.

You're making me feel ill.

Cleopas wrote: They know who's boss!!! And so do you. Cats are for life!

Women are a bit like cats.

Cleopas wrote: Dogs ... on the other hand ... are as thick as two short planks! Everyone knows this! Loveable animals, but really ... they drew the short straw on intelligence.

or is it Dogs?

Cleopas wrote: Cats have you trained quicker than you realise it!

Now you have me thinking Cats again.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 06 Dec 2006, 12:00

Oh dear ... Porty wrote:

Cleopas wrote:
Porty ... cats love you right back!!!
When you least the expect it, they jump up on to your lap and start padding your tummy to make a nest, look you straight in the eye, stretch up and lick your ear then cuddle into your neck ... then they'll fart on your arm before settling down to make a nice soft pillow of you.

You're making me feel ill.

Cleopas wrote:
They know who's boss!!! And so do you. Cats are for life!

Women are a bit like cats.

Cleopas wrote:
Dogs ... on the other hand ... are as thick as two short planks! Everyone knows this! Loveable animals, but really ... they drew the short straw on intelligence.
or is it Dogs?

Cleopas wrote:
Cats have you trained quicker than you realise it!
Now you have me thinking Cats again.

Something tells me you're gonna get in soooo much trouble for your comments, Porty. Poor you!

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 06 Dec 2006, 12:03

Cleopas wrote: Something tells me you're gonna get in soooo much trouble for your comments, Porty. Poor you!

The only saving grace is that he didn't go as far as comparing us to sheep

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 06 Dec 2006, 12:15

Dolphins opened up so many opportunities.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 06 Dec 2006, 12:52

Yes, I know.

I remember an under 5s book I had when was just a ickle kid and the first sentence I read was ... "Dolphins are gay ... "

I think it traumatised me for life!!!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 06 Dec 2006, 17:27

Porty wrote:They are sooooo much better than the real thing. No fur balls, no staring, no mouse catching and no food bills. And best of all no urine smells. They don't get fat, you can buy a real xmas tree, they don't have cygnets and no-one gets offended if you kick it a shot.

I'm positive a live cat has absolutely no benefit over the fake version, unless anyone can explan otherwise?

There was a stall at the Metro this year selling just that very thing! They were HORRIBLE. They looked like they'd been made out of cat fur and they had a pump thing inside which made them look like they were breathing

They had puppies too which were just a bit too lifelike - or should that be deadlike. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 06 Dec 2006, 17:30

Epykat wrote:
Porty wrote:They are sooooo much better than the real thing. No fur balls, no staring, no mouse catching and no food bills. And best of all no urine smells. They don't get fat, you can buy a real xmas tree, they don't have cygnets and no-one gets offended if you kick it a shot.

I'm positive a live cat has absolutely no benefit over the fake version, unless anyone can explan otherwise?
There was a stall at the Metro this year selling just that very thing! They were HORRIBLE. They looked like they'd been made out of cat fur and they had a pump thing inside which made them look like they were breathing They had puppies too which were just a bit too lifelike - or should that be deadlike. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

...that just proves they were fake, cos we all know that cats don't have puppies

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 06 Dec 2006, 17:37

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 06 Dec 2006, 21:28

Poppy wrote:
Sandra wrote:yes it can sometimes be a pain to walk bess in the pouring rain and winter cold
That's why cats are better than dogs!!

he doesn't like dogs either, positively shirks away from bess if we meet him when out walking.

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » 06 Dec 2006, 21:30

Cleopas wrote:Dogs ... on the other hand ... are as thick as two short planks! Everyone knows this! Loveable animals, but really ... they drew the short straw on intelligence.

hmmh don't belive you Cleo, you have obviously never had a pet dog in you life! You don't know what you are missing! They are very intelligent creatures.

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 06 Dec 2006, 21:38

[/quote]
There was a stall at the Metro this year selling just that very thing! They were HORRIBLE. They looked like they'd been made out of cat fur and they had a pump thing inside which made them look like they were breathing

They had puppies too which were just a bit too lifelike - or should that be deadlike. Horrible, horrible, horrible.[/quote]

This site will let you know where these cute little kittys really come from!
It's not for the squeamish,
I thought that they were going to be banned from this country, but obviously not so far!!! The sooner the better for the dogs and cats
http://sirius.2kat.net/dogsforfur.html

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 06 Dec 2006, 21:53

I had a great dog ... a terrier we called Rusty. Stupid as a cork, but a great dog. My brother and I dressed him up in as Hibs strip once and threw him out the door. He was the best dog ever!

My mates had dogs too ... Pal and Shep (the dogs, not the mates) ... all of our dogs were best buddies ... and it was like they all thought the same way. Probably because they all shared the same single brain cell!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 07 Dec 2006, 00:27

Cleopas wrote:I had a great dog ... a terrier we called Rusty. Stupid as a cork, but a great dog. My brother and I dressed him up in as Hibs strip once and threw him out the door. He was the best dog ever!

Hope you didn't live in Gorgie at the time.

Thought pet bricks were a great idea. No walkies, feeding, fleas. Met one in dark hall the other night so am now wearing open toed sandals until the swelling goes down.

Triops. There's a pet I forgot to mention

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 07 Dec 2006, 13:50

Here's my wee cat

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 07 Dec 2006, 13:59

Black Mamba wrote:Here's my wee cat

Cute...is that one of these things to help you take off yer wellies

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 07 Dec 2006, 14:06

Purrfect!!

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 08 Dec 2006, 12:43

foxy wrote:
wrote:

Cute...is that one of these things to help you take off yer wellies
It's not for taking wellies of. It's called a brush cat and is purely ornamental.

Nelson Hatstand · Post by **Nelson Hatstand** » 08 Dec 2006, 12:59

Black Mamba wrote:
foxy wrote:
wrote:

Cute...is that one of these things to help you take off yer wellies
It's not for taking wellies of. It's called a brush cat and is purely ornamental.
But you could pretend that it was helping couldn't you? When you come in after a cold afternoon tramping through the porridge covered glens, you could shout to it, "Here Fake kitty, come and help me off with my boots!" Then you could imagine it was taking off your boots, even though it was really you.

And it would be much better cos it wouldn't smell of wee or anything, and it would probably do a better job of taking off your boots then a real cat would.

Then you could imagine it making your dinner, and a real one wouldn't be able to make your dinner either, so that would be really good too. Your pretend cat could make chips or pasties or anything.

Do you do pretend things with your fake cat, Black Mamba? Do you?

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 08 Dec 2006, 14:00

BM obvioulsy has issues with the fake cat and is not prepared to consider it in a welly removal role. She has more or less admitted that fake cat has apurely ornamental role. What a darned shame.

Maybe she is too scared to risk using FC to remove her wellies just in case it does a better job.

teddygirl · Post by **teddygirl** » 08 Dec 2006, 15:43

Black Mamba wrote:Here's my wee cat

I've got one of them, but mine's a grouse

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 08 Dec 2006, 17:16

Porty wrote:BM obvioulsy has issues with the fake cat and is not prepared to consider it in a welly removal role. She has more or less admitted that fake cat has apurely ornamental role. What a darned shame.

Maybe she is too scared to risk using FC to remove her wellies just in case it does a better job.

My dear fellow fake cat lovers, you misunderstand me

My fake cat is designed as an ornamental cat and is quite delicate.

It would most certainly fall to pieces if used to removed said wellies although I must admit it would be nice to call on said cat to help me.

Maybe I should look for a sturdier version

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 08 Dec 2006, 17:29

Black Mamba wrote:
Porty wrote:BM obvioulsy has issues with the fake cat and is not prepared to consider it in a welly removal role. She has more or less admitted that fake cat has apurely ornamental role. What a darned shame.

Maybe she is too scared to risk using FC to remove her wellies just in case it does a better job.
My dear fellow fake cat lovers, you misunderstand me
My fake cat is designed as an ornamental cat and is quite delicate. It would most certainly fall to pieces if used to removed said wellies although I must admit it would be nice to call on said cat to help me. Maybe I should look for a sturdier version

Or Johnny Depp!!!!

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

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