Old Wifeys medicinal tales

[Porty]

I'm just back from my Mum's who is great spirits but lookng very tired. Her youger brother has just had an op to fix an issue with an op he had about 4 weeks ago, its bowel related, i think.

He has been in extreme discomfort and my mum is really worried about him, as he won't follow her medicinal advice, which is to eat a bag of licorice. he doesn't like the stuff. I found it hard to keep a straight face as she was telling me this story, so hard that I didn't manage.

It reminded me of her other medicinal foibles. When i had acne, (oh how i wish is till could) she used to pour vinegar onto a brown paper bag, it had to be brown, and suggest rubbing it on me. Which i let her do once. As I not only still had acne I also smelled like a fish supper.

And even today she still believes that Germoline is the ointmental equivalent of penicillin, god knows how many tins she's got through?

[Izzie]

My mum use to tell us to put aftershave on a shiver but I didn't like the taste and I always got it in my mouth

[Porty]

Yep Ive heard that one too. In fact I was still doing that until quite recently. I used Zovirax but that just seemed to spread the hideous things.

[Jackson Priest]

When i had acne, (oh how i wish is till could) she used to pour vinegar onto a brown paper bag, it had to be brown, and suggest rubbing it on me. Which i let her do once. As I not only still had acne I also smelled like a fish supper.

Mrs Priest advocates the use of vinegar on sunburn. In fact she used this treatment on me last year in France. It worked - I think. But it could be that the bombardment of the old olfactory receptor neurons by the stinky vinegar stopped me from thinking about the pain. Anyway, I'd much rather think that than accept the possibility of Mrs Priest being right.

JP.

[Porty]

..... I also smelled like a fish supper....

Wait a minute: acne+ brown paper + vinegar.... where did the smell of fish come from?

[SoupDragon]

..... I also smelled like a fish supper....

Wait a minute: acne+ brown paper + vinegar.... where did the smell of fish come from?

What no brown sauce?

I remember having butter rubbed on bumps to the head!!
One that did work was my nan rubbing 4711 Eau de cologne on our brows for a head ache. Smell like the "Forehead" stuff thats out now. Lavender sticks also work wonders for headaches.

Tea tree is great for cold sores if you get it on as the tingle starts.

We were often sent to the Baths when we had grazes, the salt water stung like blazes but cleaned the wounds beautifully, (mind you they could have just been trying to get a whinging child out the house)

Is liquorice thought to have a laxative effect? Know that fennel is supposed to help colicky babies.

[Cleopas]

My mother is a great beleiver in Dr Bronner's Magical soaps. You can order it online these days. She gets the special shower bottles that require soaping into your "private areas". First time I did that, I screamed the house down. It's very ... invigorating! I recommend it to all guys!

Yes, the strong liquorice you get from the chemist is a laxative. It's also great for making the sugarolly water my auntie is famous for.

[SoupDragon]

Just googled Dr Bronner. His Wikipedia mention sounds like one the beginning of one of DaDas threads!
Oh why would anyone want to use that on themselves in such an intimate area?

[Cleopas]

You'll be pleasantly surprised just HOW invigorating it is to your love life. You have to shower with it FIRST though!!!

[SoupDragon]

Sounds more like contraceptive. Given my allergies Mr Soupy would get a vigourous wave from the other side of the room if I used that stuff.

[Cleopas]

It's not for ladies. Get Mr Soupie to give it a go. You'll think you just got your first time all over again!

[SoupDragon]

What! I'd get acne, guilt and an irate mother again?

[Porty]

What! I'd get acne, guilt and an irate mother again?

Good one.

[Cleopas]

The acne and the guilt I get. (Standard for Catholics isn't it?) But your mother?? Can you share or is that for your memoirs???

btw ... I rate my mother 10 out of 10 of course.

[Pal of Porty]

My Gran always used to make us eat fish because it made you brainy.

Lots of medical evidence today points to the Omega oils contained in fish really helping towards brain function. She was right (I just never ate enough!).

[arachnid]

My Gran always used to make us eat fish because it made you brainy.

Lots of medical evidence today points to the Omega oils contained in fish really helping towards brain function. She was right (I just never ate enough!).

I used to be told if you ate the crusts of bread it would make your hair curly!!! Doesn't work!!! And I've been trying for a very long time!!!

[Cleopas]

My uncle who was in the Navy, convinced me when I was about five that sailors ate candles and coal when the veggies ran out at sea.

I tried eating a candle once and my mother went mental. My uncle was banned from the house after that for about a year to stop him telling us kids all his tall tales.

So ... anyone got any idea what coal tastes like??? I can tell you now candlewax is no substitute for cous-cous.

[Porty]

I can tell you now candlewax is no substitute for cous-cous.

I'm not so sure, cous cous gets on my wick.