Election / Grand National / Pope / Royal Wedding / Football

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 05 Apr 2005, 19:46

Here is my idea on how to cut down on all this news which has somewhat bogged down current current affairs programming.

I propose a combination event, hosted by Ant or Dec or Theakston or whoever, which encompasses all of the above happenings in one televisual feast. And Kate Thornton behind the scenes.

So, we name the Grand National horses Labour, Tories, Lib Dems, Celtic, Hibs, Hearts, Dundee Utd. For the election results it's first past the post. Same deal with the football horses. Another 3 horses contain Charles, Camilla and a cleric who will marry them during the race. Final fillie has the Pope tied to it, El Cid style, which drops into a grave once it crosses the finish line.

Bookmakers can handle all the various odds involved, TV coverage will be a chaotic orgy as Snow, Dimbleby, Donnelly (Dougie and Declan) et al all shout over the mic at the same time.

By the end of the race we should have a new Queen, Pope, Government, Cup and National winner, and a few rich punters.

mr magnolia · Post by **mr magnolia** » 05 Apr 2005, 22:18

Ho Hum

I think you managed to get something to offend everyone in that post.

You may now start again with a clean sheet.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 05 Apr 2005, 22:59

Sounds like only Sky will cover that one!

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 06 Apr 2005, 08:49

Or one of those Internet T.V. channels?

Skeely · Post by **Skeely** » 06 Apr 2005, 10:49

mr magnolia wrote:I think you managed to get something to offend everyone in that post.

Not quite: how about a horse for each oil-rich, Arabic country (the 'stans, Iran etc.) to determine where the Yanks will strike next?

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 06 Apr 2005, 13:37

It's just for this weekend's news Skeely.

I forgot to mention the riders - they are the Cardinals who are currently jockeying for position as the next Pope.

It's going to be a tense race - apparently there is a lot of political horse-trading going on behind the scenes.

<insert suitable Camilla joke involving riding and horses>