Boys' Toys

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 15 Dec 2006, 00:21

OOps!!! Slip of the peacepipe!!!!

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 15 Dec 2006, 00:26

B ugger Christmas.

100,000 Scrooge figures are catapulted from several dimensional rifts to sow dissension and despair among the enemy.

10 million leaflets declaring there will be NO PRESENTS are parachuted into the milling soldiery and general citizenry.

Everybody's christmas trees immediately catch fire and all the Tonka toys are subsequently break of their own accord.

Millions of pictures showing a VERY DEAD SANTA are posted on the Internet and through letterboxes!

The enemy are TERRIFIED!!!

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 15 Dec 2006, 11:01

Oh dear Cleopas, did you have a bad Christmas experience as a child?
Maybe we should all (pol posters) decend on you on Christmas morning singing carols and calling Merry Christmas. Would that cheer you up?

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 15 Dec 2006, 11:57

Black Mamba wrote:

Oh dear Cleopas, did you have a bad Christmas experience as a child?
Maybe we should all (pol posters) decend on you on Christmas morning singing carols and calling Merry Christmas. Would that cheer you up?

Just you try it!!! I'd call the cops out to deal with unwanted intruders so fast you'd all have ASBOs for lunch!

There'll be NO ships come sailing in, NO wise men (cos if they're wise they know to stay away!), NO fat gits in red suits on my roof and if a reindeer shoves its ruddy red nose on MY lawn ... it's dinner!

There'll be nobody but ME having fun on MY birthday (25th) if I have to spend it on my own to get it!

Are we getting the picture here?

Merry sodding Christmas. my *rse!!!

I intend to winn this war deeclared by Dadist!!!

Black Mamba · Post by **Black Mamba** » 15 Dec 2006, 12:22

Oh dear Cleopas you sound like a cross between Scrooge and Victor Meldrew, you poor thing. I'm sorry we can't join you in your grumpy misery, but everyone else is looking forward to Christmas and a nice Veggie dinner.

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 15 Dec 2006, 12:38

I'm sending Wicket and the rest of the Ewoks.
Who could be grumpy with such cute characters around?

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 15 Dec 2006, 12:40

I have been called Victor Melodrama on occassion!!!

Just as well I have a fabulous sense of humour.

Now if you're on this thread ... cut the sympathy and get your troops out so my Legions of the Damned can mallicate them!

I detest Ewoks! I'm gonna stuff every last one of them!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 15 Dec 2006, 12:49

OK then
"By the power of Greyskull " I send in He man and Battle Cat who join forces with She Ra.

They travel into battle on a Brio railway ( complete with figure of eight, station and drawbrige)

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 15 Dec 2006, 12:54

From Tracey Island the Thunderbirds are launched dropping Care Bears on the enemy and those wee guys on paracutes who always get tangled together.

Stickle bricks are laid like caltraps or deter a side swipe by opposing troops

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 15 Dec 2006, 17:02

Andromeda Ascendant drops three nova bombs on Soupdragon's forces, totally wiping them out and wounding Clangers #2 and #3.

Soupdragon must now bow her head to my mastery of Warfare.

Sun-Tzu is a good teacher!!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 15 Dec 2006, 17:13

I'll stomp on all your toys with my Doc Martens, wave a baseball bat around and scweem and scweem until I'm sick.
So there.
Huh.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 15 Dec 2006, 18:00

You can't! You're dead!!!

I win!!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 15 Dec 2006, 19:01

Oh no I'm not!

Look out behind you.
Aaaargh.

John Crichton whisked me aboard Moya in mid tantrum whilst Aeryn Sun and D'argo created a diversion.

I've now called on all the dragons of Pern to come to my aid.
As they're chewing firestone and flaming your puny forces I'm bouncing round on a spacehopper crushing the survivors and whacking them with my yoyo.

I'll accept your surrender for a curly wurly and a glass of vimto, Cleopas the fallen

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 15 Dec 2006, 19:22

Puppets?? You let PUPPETS save your dragon hide??? Bwaaah-ha-ha-ha!

You'll be the laughing stock of Dragonkind throughout the multiverse! McCaffrey's dragons are WIMPS!!!

The Valheru of Midkemia .. the great Dragonlords ... are coming ... Run and hide!!!

I have not fallen ... I have been and will always be superior to all of you wannabes here!

You are deluding yourself ... you are obviously wounded badly and it is affecting your mind ...

Desist and SURRENDER!!!

And there will be NO curly-wurlies or vimto for you!!! Ha ha ha ha !!!

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 15 Dec 2006, 20:03

Think your mind is affected, there were no puppets in my rescue just the rather dishy Ben Bowder from Farscape. Think I'll use him to divert you until I can get hold of the Bene Gesserit and use their mind control on you. Then you're of to Arrakis where the fremen and a sandworm want a word.

Hold out on the curly wurlies and vimto would you!

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 16 Dec 2006, 10:22

I am beyond your puerile threats.

Behold the legions of Jaffar wiping out the Fremen of Arrakis and destroying the highly illegal mind-expanding spice trade.

The Bene Gesserit ar no match for the combined assault of the telepathic Minbari, the warrior Narns, the conquering Centauri, and the mysterious Vorlons. The malevolent Shadows of Z'ha'dum and the Dark Eldar (Warhammer 4000) are destroying everything in Soupdragon's mind with extreme prejudice.

There can be no doubt ... the mighty Cleopas has won this protracted war. I ... am a GOD!!!

(

)

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 16 Dec 2006, 12:54

God Emperor of Dune?

You worm!

You can have the curly wurlies and Vimto I'm off for a cup of tea and a Jaffur cake.

Meanwhile I've left behind Dark Stars thinking bomb and the wee beach ball alien has triggered it. As Joan Baez sings plaintively I'm silently running away.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 16 Dec 2006, 17:13

... and you can go whistling, madam!

I declare myself the ULTIMATE VICTOR in this battle.

Any post that comes after this one ... is a message from from beyond the grave and may therefore be ignored.

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 16 Dec 2006, 18:53

Yeah but you've still got to tidy up the mess you made.

Now put all the toys back in the box like a good boy.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 16 Dec 2006, 22:40

Yeth, mummy! Will you tuck me in tonight?

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 16 Dec 2006, 22:51

You'll be wanting a bedtime story next!

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 16 Dec 2006, 23:00

Yeth pleathe, mummy ... can you read me that one about the harlot who lived with a gang of men in the foretht?

SoupDragon · Post by **SoupDragon** » 16 Dec 2006, 23:19

No dear, you'd only want to join them.

What about Sun Tse or a cook book.
War and peas?