50000 posts...

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 21 Oct 2006, 21:04

...is imminent. How should we mark this momentous occasion? Suggestions please.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 21 Oct 2006, 21:06

Mass ritual suicide. Or a mass wedding like the Moonies.

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 22 Oct 2006, 00:07

A mass forum posting night!!!!

Or an online forum party!!!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 22 Oct 2006, 02:53

Ignore it and carry on regardeless. I joined at approx 2000 and it seems like yesterday.

Rex_Mundi · Post by **Rex_Mundi** » 22 Oct 2006, 08:35

A Mass

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 22 Oct 2006, 10:20

Bob, how about you and your moderating team read over the posts and pick out your favourite. The winner gets a bottle of Asti

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 22 Oct 2006, 10:27

HAHAHA!

Anyway, I bet I know what Bob would pick.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 22 Oct 2006, 10:28

Howabout everybody picks their favourite post. Then we have a poll to decide the winner.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 22 Oct 2006, 10:33

Dadaist wrote:Howabout everybody picks their favourite post. Then we have a poll to decide the winner.

That could be fun. Just don't get me to deliver the winning bottle. Poor Plug has been waiting patiently since Easter for his bottle of Rioja

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 22 Oct 2006, 10:50

I haven't been round these here parts long, but my run away favourite has to be this. It came at a time when I was feeling particualrly despondent and said it all.

Dadaist wrote:

Hi, gurny smiley Pete here.

And here's Nat with her too-small over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.

Now, clear a space at the border - put a wry smile on your face - and get ready to launch those US-made missiles!

Now make a throwing action as we throw those missiles. That's a great missile you threw there - you flattened a whole residential block!

Next, pretend to be a cowering Lebanese civilian. Curl up in a ball - it won't make much difference though!

Now, wave those UN resolutions at Hezbollah - wave them - wave them - then laugh at your ones and ignore them - yeah - we're laughing, we're laughing - now tear up the UN charter - that's it!

OK Nat - your turn!

Thanks Pete. I'm Condaleeza Peas & Rice - and I'm here to nudge and wink at the Israeli PM - nudge nudge - wink wink - then we go back to throwing missiles again - then I deliver new missiles - here's me handing over the missiles - nudge - wink - then we throw the missiles. Don't worry - we'll be repeating this a lot. Back to you Pete.

Thanks Nat - those were some great diplomatic moves!

Now I'm the Israeli soldier - watch me as I look around, put my foot over the border - just a little - then pull it back. Now do that with the other foot - over - back - over - back - not an invasion - an incursion - not an invasion - an incursion.

Here's the US civilians - now wave those passports at the border - that's great!

Phew! Take a bow - you were great!

Make yourself tall :

Blow up a Hez-Ball-Ah!

You've danced with Ehud Olmert!

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 22 Oct 2006, 11:19

Gilo wrote:Bob, how about you and your moderating team

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 22 Oct 2006, 12:17

Bellybabe wrote:
Gilo wrote:Bob, how about you and your moderating team

I hope you dont have hopes of that reaching the final.

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 22 Oct 2006, 17:11

Porty wrote:I hope you dont have hopes of that reaching the final.

I hope you don't have hopes of this reaching the final.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 22 Oct 2006, 17:29

Gilo wrote:
Porty wrote:I hope you dont have hopes of that reaching the final.
I hope you don't have hopes of this reaching the final.

If I don't find anything before the deadline (or forget) then the above is my entry.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 22 Oct 2006, 20:46

For me Moi's post is the foremost contender but ther have been so many. Seanie's landmark on entryism was another. Dada has several his one-man debate on school on the moon post was a classic. .....

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 22 Oct 2006, 23:27

Here is my formal contender - it's Porty replying to Bob on the Blue Bean thread :

Porty wrote:
Bob wrote:?David, I've heard enough. I withdraw my olive branch. You are clearly not worthy of our custom. Now, who wants to open a cafe with me? Child-friendly, customer-orientated, organic and fair-trade produce, nice comfy sofas, home baking, cool sounds, newspapers, board games, chill-out, stay as long as you like sort of thing?
Will we be allowed to say **** **** and stuff like that? or will you be serviing up profanity filter coffee?

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 22 Oct 2006, 23:48

I'm going for another Porty classic:

Porty wrote:
Bob Jefferson wrote:Spotted in today's EN Letters Page:

Stop danger riders

REGARDING dangerous cyclists, the obvious place to see them is Portobello Promenade. They race along there without care for anybody, young or old. The section of the Promenade from King's Road to Joppa is a no-cycling area, and there are signs up to that effect. It's about time these clowns watched what they are doing, or the law should step in.

James Sherry, Northfield Drive, Edinburgh
I can sympathise with Mr Sherry but at the same time we should consider the clowns. If I were a clown I would definitely get around using a bike. It must be a pain in the ass having your car doors fall off every time you beep your horn.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 23 Oct 2006, 00:08

I'm having a bit of difficulty narrowing the field down. For example, there's Porty's tale about the suicidal dog and his other canine centred post about getting dog excrement all over his house and himself. Then there's Dada's recent post about locating PHS on the moon, which must be a classic. This is going to take some more thought....

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 23 Oct 2006, 10:18

Marya one of my faves was the poem you wrote about me but it wouldn't be right for me to mention it. However, it was brilliant.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 23 Oct 2006, 10:26

For the relative newbies. Here is Moi's post. Its ths 5th one on the thread and it has some funny symbols in it? In order to make the most of it one ought to read dc cairns post on the thread before Moi's.

The pier project ran out of steam very shortly afterwards..

moi's post

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 23 Oct 2006, 10:50

Thanks for my nominations. In 10,000 years when this forum is in a museum somewhere I'd like to point out to readers viewing this exhibit that Boogie Beebies never did an Israeli Airstrike Dance, nor was there a serious attempt to relocate PHS to the moon. At least, not in our time.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 24 Oct 2006, 19:02

Dadaist wrote:Thanks for my nominations. In 10,000 years when this forum is in a museum somewhere .....

I do believe that we are currently being archived. I can't remember who exactly is conserving our outpourings, but we have been plucked to be preserved for posterity by some important body or other (much to the acute embarrassment of some CC members!).

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 24 Oct 2006, 19:07

I can't remember who exactly is conserving our outpourings

Was it not the National Library of Scotland?

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 24 Oct 2006, 19:09

Poppy wrote:
I can't remember who exactly is conserving our outpourings
Was it not the National Library of Scotland?

You could be right you know Poppy. It rings bells...

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 24 Oct 2006, 19:15

And here in fact is the thread all about it...Portobello Online - forever

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 28 Oct 2006, 10:02

As a late entry for the best post, I would like to add this quip from Porty:

Porty wrote:
Sandra wrote: When one of my friends was pregnant she craved doner kebabs and ate up to 4 a week!
OMG!!! I have a male friend who must be having twins.

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 30 Oct 2006, 15:20

Laurence Marshall wrote:
I'm just about to head down to the kilns and will keep you updated.

Lawrence

Jackson Priest wrote:

kiln

This one does it for me every time

. I vote Jackson to win

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 03 Nov 2006, 13:13

I think we ought to be able to nominate entire threads for the reward and this would be mine. Its an absolute classic from Dada, enjoy:

http://porty.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1691