Chimenea Amnesty Week

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 12 Aug 2006, 09:03

It's time for all Chimenea owners to destroy these abhorrent insults to pottery.

Over the next 7 days I would like anyone who made the mistake of buying one of these pointless and disgusting objects to smash and dispose of these naff ornamental heaters and pledge never to buy one again.

Potty

Not since the garden gnome has such an ugly, cumbersome, pointless, expensive and wasteful object been on sale in Dobbies and other reputable garden centres and home/hardware outlets - with prices varying from the ludicrously cheap to the strangely expensive.

Whether it's on a silly wee iron stand, or free-standing, get rid of your chimenea now and pester your neighbours to do likewise.

Together we can unite and rid the world of this menace. Now is the time.

Smash

Language should not be allowed to be abused in this manner. That thing on the top of your house is a chimney. Fine. But who butchered our tongue to come up with chimenea? Maybe it sounded good in Mexico, but what's next - dooar? Windoa? What other previously utilitarian part of a home can be ripped out, refashioned and punted to garden centre visitors for from Â£9.99 to Â£99.99 for the deluxe one with the gloss and decorative grapes and vines?

Maybe you thought it would look good over there in that bit. Maybe you got one of those wicker candle things too. It's ok.

Rid yourself of your chimenea. Tell us and you will be forgiven.

Above all, do not post pictures of Chimenea (Chimeneas?) on this thread - google if you don't know what one looks like, but no pictures of these pathetic pipes please

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 12 Aug 2006, 09:32

Agree entirely with Dada on this. When it is too cold to sit outside, why not move indoors? I was at a party recently where they had not just one, but two chimchiminey affairs. Choked with wood smoke from one direction and cigarette smoke from the other, I felt like an experimental kipper gone badly wrong.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 12 Aug 2006, 09:41

Not having a garden, I didn't know what the hell a chimenea was ... until I saw this thread then went googled and looked ...

AND I AGREE!! Smash the awful things up, bury the pieces and let's never mention them ever again!

gilo · Post by **gilo** » 12 Aug 2006, 10:13

Are they not a bit of a status symbol round these parts? I don't have one myself, though I probably wouldn't own up if I did!

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 12 Aug 2006, 10:35

Yeah, that and a gazebo. Epykat used to have a gazebo but I hear she's trading up to a marquee.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 12 Aug 2006, 11:33

Nothing wrong with a tasteful gazebo or three. I agree though about those chimenea things. Give me a nice gas guzzling stainless steel one every time.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 12 Aug 2006, 12:44

You are not allowed anything more than one of those satinless steel bins with holes in it. Like they have on the pickets. A brazier, that's it. Maggie - out!

arachnid · Post by **arachnid** » 12 Aug 2006, 21:42

What is a chimenea????
For those who don't know yet,here's your answer!!!!!

http://www.dingley-dell.com/chimenea/

Mate of Marya · Post by **Mate of Marya** » 13 Aug 2006, 07:45

I can feel a question for a "Dadaist" film quiz coming on ........

"Chim chimenea
chim chimenea
chim chim cher-ee"

Name that film.

Cleopas · Post by **Cleopas** » 13 Aug 2006, 09:06

arachnid wrote:What is a chimenea???

Well, if you spell it Chiminee ... you get this ...

Very attractive black Eyed Susan with quilled petals. The petals are long and thin with a rounded point. This Rudbeckia is best grown as an annual that will bloom late summer threw fall. Very showy in beds and borders, were they grow about 2 feet tall in full sun in well drained soils- Chim Chiminee comes in a wide range of rustic fall colors that look spectacular in large late season pots and tubs. The flower colors are in a range of bright fall shades from yellow through to bronze to mahogany. Strong growing plants with well-branched stems with strong flowering stems that are useful as cut-flowers. With a early spring sowing - flowering from July into fall, for the best fall display start at the end of May to late June.

However if you google Chim Chim Chiminee ... You can get this ...

Chim Chiminee, Chim Chiminee, Chim Chim Cheree
Bin Laden's as ugly, as ugly can be
Chim Chiminee, Chim Chiminee, Chim Chim Cheroo
Goodbye's what we'll say when he's flushed down the loo
Lets tattoo his ass with the red white and blue

Now that this terrorist war has begun
He may think that blowing up buildings was fun
But just like old Saddam Hussain in the past
He'll pay for his crimes with our boot up his ass

Chim Chiminee, Chim Chiminee, Chim Chim Cheree
Bin Laden's as ugly, as ugly can be
Chim Chiminee, Chim Chiminee, Chim Chim Cheroo
Goodbye's what we'll say when he's flushed down the loo
Lets tattoo his ass with the red white and blue

Up in the mountains where cowards reside
Bin Laden is living in caves deep and wide
With nobody there but two camels for friends
So comparing his face to the camel's rear ends
Bin Laden gets no votes and the camel's get ten

Chim Chiminee, Chim Chiminee, Chim Chim Cheree
Bin Laden's as ugly, as ugly can be
Chim Chiminee, Chim Chiminee, Chim Chim Cheroo
Goodbye's what we'll say when he's flushed down the loo
Lets tattoo his ass with the red white and blue

Trying to get the lyrics for the Mary Poppins original is a minefield. Between football songs and Wierd Al Yankowicz ... it's easy to get lost.

Chim Chim Chimindeed!

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 14 Aug 2006, 14:13

Bob Jefferson wrote:Yeah, that and a gazebo. Epykat used to have a gazebo but I hear she's trading up to a marquee.

No, no, no - you've got it all wrong. I've not traded the gazebo up, I've traded the garden down - so that the gazebo now LOOKS like a marquee - get it right

We don't have a chiminea either, we've got a dinky little table top patio heater.