Just got phoned by some criminals!

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 12:05

I just got back from my bank branch who have verified that the people who phoned my mobile this morning weren't who they said they were ...

Doubly weird, because they knew my first name and my new mobile number, whereas not only do my bank have the thing where they don't mail or phone you, it's my old mobie on their system so it definitely wasn't them.

First off the name of the bank was slightly wrong and they were calling from England, which made me a bit suspicious.

Then they wanted "for security purposes" my year of birth - which I thought was a bit odd so I refused. I told the guy he should identify himself first. Weird cos there were busy office noises in the background. He remained calm and put me on hold while he talked to his colleague. Then he said "oh I see there's a password on your account - can you tell me the second character?" (this made the people at my branch take notice - apparently they would ask for 2 characters) Again I refused and told him I would be happy to phone back my bank if there was an issue with my account. He said he would give me a number to write down - by this time I was on autopilot and told him he was welcome to put the number in an official bank letter and mail it to me, or leave it on my answering machine seeing as the bank also have my home phone.

He said he would, and we parted company. I went up to my branch who said it definitely wasnt them who phoned. The number of the people who phoned (which got kept on my mobile) is an automated message saying "one of our representatives has called and will call you back" ...

So unless it was some odd sub-branch or obscure credit card, thems was fraudsters!!

I am angry, but I don't want to punch anybody.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 26 Jan 2006, 12:09

Dadaist wrote:I am angry, but I don't want to punch anybody.

I don't feel punching anybody would be just and fair in this situation.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 12:12

Porty wrote:
Dadaist wrote:I am angry, but I don't want to punch anybody.
I don't feel punching anybody would be just and fair in this situation.

Oh, ok then. Do they have to have done something first in order to be biffed?

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 26 Jan 2006, 12:13

I guess thats a fair way to proceed.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 12:18

Porty wrote:I guess thats a fair way to proceed.

I wonder what working conditions are like in a criminal call centre.

I wish I could have been on the phone to the dude for longer now.

Do you think he had a gun and was dressed up like the Celeb Big Brother "bankers"?

Jackson Priest · Post by **Jackson Priest** » 26 Jan 2006, 12:35

I think you should have emitted a series of very loud high pitched shrieks - the aural equivalent of a punch in the pus.

Jackson Priest · Post by **Jackson Priest** » 26 Jan 2006, 12:37

By the way, what is a pus? And does it hurt if you get a punch there?

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 12:43

Jackson Priest wrote:By the way, what is a pus? And does it hurt if you get a punch there?

The front of your face. As opposed to yer heid.

"boy got a smack in the pus like"

whereas for the general head area it would be more along the lines of

"kicked is heid in n nat. got nocked oot."

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 13:07

Porty wrote:I guess thats a fair way to proceed.

Incidentally, what criteria (other than your own personal morality) are you using to judge whether or not a specific instance of criminality invites actual violence?

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 26 Jan 2006, 14:20

When I can get my hands on them.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 14:23

Pal of Porty wrote:When I can get my hands on them.

don't make me modera......d'oh!!!! (slaps ma spam)

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 26 Jan 2006, 16:00

Jackson Priest wrote: the aural equivalent of a punch in the pus.

JP wrote:By the way, what is a punch in the pus? And does it hurt if you get a punch there?

How did you know what it would sound like before you even knew what it was

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 16:03

foxy wrote:
Jackson Priest wrote: the aural equivalent of a punch in the pus.

JP wrote:By the way, what is a punch in the pus? And does it hurt if you get a punch there?
How did you know what it would sound like before you even knew what it was

He reads Philip K Dick novels. Anything goes.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 26 Jan 2006, 16:16

Dadaist wrote:
Porty wrote:I guess thats a fair way to proceed.
Incidentally, what criteria (other than your own personal morality) are you using to judge whether or not a specific instance of criminality invites actual violence?

In my view, and I think we agree, it is not fair that anybody gets punched just because crimimals called you up.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 16:21

Yeah but what if I grassed them to the filth? Then would they get to biff me?

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 26 Jan 2006, 16:23

Dadaist wrote:Yeah but what if I grassed them to the filth? Then would they get to biff me?

Only if they wanted to

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 26 Jan 2006, 16:26

foxy wrote:
Dadaist wrote:Yeah but what if I grassed them to the filth? Then would they get to biff me?
Only if they wanted to

I don't want to give or receive biff.

Jackson Priest · Post by **Jackson Priest** » 27 Jan 2006, 10:31

Dadaist wrote:The front of your face. As opposed to yer heid.

"boy got a smack in the pus like"

whereas for the general head area it would be more along the lines of

"kicked is heid in n nat. got nocked oot."

So, still not very nice. I assumed the pus would be a fleshy part of the person, for example a man breast or a love handle, to answer Foxy's question. It seems I was wrong.

I think in a one-on-one situation, I would still go for the high pitched shriek, to deter the potential attacker/vandal/etc.

If you click here and download "Fraud Deterrent", you will see the awesome yet peaceful potential this method contains.

I hope the more violently inclined among you can learn from this.

The Reverend Jackson Priest

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Jan 2006, 10:43

Jackson Priest wrote:I think in a one-on-one situation, I would still go for the high pitched shriek, to deter the potential attacker/vandal/etc.

Shrieking and screamimg works. When I was about 12 i was set upon by a bunch of guys who knew me, it was in Hamilton Gardens. My crime was that my mum and dad moved from the scheme to a bought house in Mountcastle. There were about 8 of them but by the time they caught me only about 2 or 3. They got me on the ground and started booting. Although the blows were about 4 on a sore scale of 10, I screamed 10 on the scream scale and they completely panicked and ran off.

About 12 years later the ringleader came to see so that i could arrange a mortgage for him. You can imagine......

Ed · Post by Ed » 27 Jan 2006, 11:16

Porty wrote:About 12 years later the ringleader came to see so that i could arrange a mortgage for him. You can imagine......

Is he paying a 23% mortgage?

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Jan 2006, 11:25

Nah, I did a thoroughly professional job for him and his bird. He was squirming and eventually apologised for the misdemeanour. I pretended I didnae ken wit he was talkin aboot.

Mate of Marya · Post by **Mate of Marya** » 27 Jan 2006, 20:22

Was his bird a parrot or a budgie?

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 28 Jan 2006, 00:59

Mate of Marya wrote:Was his bird a parrot or a budgie?

Probably a mynah

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

Just got phoned by some criminals!

Just got phoned by some criminals!

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Re: Just got phoned by some criminals!