Your Funeral

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 31 May 2005, 21:38

Has anybody else told their nearest and dearest how they would like this conducted? I have (just remembered this because my funeral song has just come on). He has strict instructions re my hair. DON'T let them comb it flat to my head or, worse, put it in a middle score and slap it to my head, especially if it's grey. Get the hairdresser in

Make sure I have a nice pair of earrings in and a bit of lippy and don't forget the mascara. As far as clothes are concerned I think 'the robe' would be quite nice as long as it's clean and ironed (ie, it's not been on anybody else first!). For the service I want Rosalee by Thin Lizzy on the way in, and Meat Loaf, Heaven can Wait during the going away bit (definitely cremated thanks). Then you can all cry loads and go for a bevvy.

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 31 May 2005, 22:33

An eco-friendly woodland funeral, complimentary Victory Gin and tonic, and this...

Bobby Come Back To Me

Fay's fascination for 1960s girl groups resulted in Bobby Come Back To Me, a 'tribute' to that style, which is twisted somewhat by Fay's almost orgasmic pleas to the deceased Bobby.

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 31 May 2005, 23:20

A cardboard box, no religion and some Bruce Springsteen would do me nicely. Hope it's not for a while though.

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 31 May 2005, 23:24

I want to be buried with full military honours by the Black Panthers.

CatzVP · Post by **CatzVP** » 31 May 2005, 23:40

Dadaist wrote:I want to be buried with full military honours by the Black Panthers.

Make sure you write it down in the Will otherwise it will end up being 'Full ministry tenors singing the Pink Panther'

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 01 Jun 2005, 07:16

CatzVP wrote:
Dadaist wrote:I want to be buried with full military honours by the Black Panthers.
Make sure you write it down in the Will otherwise it will end up being 'Full ministry tenors singing the Pink Panther'

Dunno, sounds good too.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 01 Jun 2005, 16:41

Pal of Porty wrote:A cardboard box, no religion and some Bruce Springsteen would do me nicely. Hope it's not for a while though.

I'm with you PoP but definitely cremated rather than buried.

Epykat the thought of someone putting on make-up and doing my hair once I'm gone is really...well over my dead body

I also hate the idea of being buried in clothes... a good old shroud will do for me...nae pockets mind

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 01 Jun 2005, 23:37

foxy wrote:I'm with you PoP but definitely cremated rather than buried.

Even the Bruce Springsteen bit!!!!

Novastar · Post by **Novastar** » 02 Jun 2005, 11:50

I'd have Nimrod and Metallica's Enter Sandman playing (yes a rather wide musical taste there)

Possibly Jerusalem as well. Seems to have been at every other funeral I've been to recently.

foxy · Post by **foxy** » 02 Jun 2005, 16:13

Pal of Porty wrote: Even the Bruce Springsteen bit!!!!

Suppose it depends what age I am when I peg it...Bruce might be a bit of a shock for the old dears in attendance

Maybe I should reconsider and have Singalongamax or a nice bit of Barry Manilow

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 03 Jun 2005, 16:24

I'd like a huge turnout, lots of tears

and traditional morbidity please; a slow funeral procession of vehicles past houses with their curtains drawn out of respect and somber hymn singing. No bright clothing , trendy poetry/songs or cremation for me thanks

I want a grave with a view of hills and a loch and a rowan tree planted by my headstone.

Only then can folk retire to the local hotel for egg and cress sandwiches and a dram or two....either that or a send off New Orleans style with a trad jazz band and folk dancing and twirling umbrellas

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 03 Jun 2005, 16:44

Marya wrote:..either that or a send off New Orleans style with a trad jazz band and folk dancing and twirling umbrellas

Put me down for one of those too, please.

Post by **wangi** » 03 Jun 2005, 17:07

ecm wrote:
Marya wrote:..either that or a send off New Orleans style with a trad jazz band and folk dancing and twirling umbrellas
Put me down for one of those too, please.

Nice choice of words!

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 03 Jun 2005, 17:36

novastar wrote: Wearing black!! Hope I won't get mistaken for a troublemaker

and

....... at every other funeral I've been to recently.

Are you a undertaker by any chance Novastar?

Novastar · Post by **Novastar** » 03 Jun 2005, 17:40

No I work in tech support (for vets insidentally). Although it feels like a funeral parlour at the moment. Dead quiet (no pun intended).

Have just found myself at Grandma's/family friends/friends funerals quite often in the last few years and Jerusalem seems to be at most of them

Could understand it at my gran's but a bit worrying to have songs like that at a 20 year olds IMHO.

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 03 Jun 2005, 17:56

Novastar wrote:I'd have Nimrod and Metallica's Enter Sandman playing (yes a rather wide musical taste there)

Possibly Jerusalem as well. Seems to have been at every other funeral I've been to recently.

I went to a funeral once where they played the extended (piano) bit of the Derek and the Dominoes song "Layla". I always get a bit maudlin when I hear that now.

Ali fancies having Wreckless Eric's "Final Taxi" played at his leaving do- I'd post the lyrics, but I can't find them anywhere on the net and can't be bothered to type them out .

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 03 Jun 2005, 17:56

A techie eh? Watch your back Novastar or Bob'll get you

BTW Isn't 'Jerusalem" the one that says something like '...and did those feet in ancient time Walk upon England's mountains green'?
Funnily enough, you don't really hear it much round these parts

Novastar · Post by **Novastar** » 03 Jun 2005, 18:11

Marya wrote:Bob'll get you

I'll keep quiet

Have enough of that to do 9-5.

Marya wrote: BTW Isn't 'Jerusalem" the one that says something like '...and did those feet in ancient time Walk upon England's mountains green'?

Yes - I'm a whinging Pom, ignarant sasanach, bloody foreigner, etc

Sorry

Bob Jefferson · Post by **Bob Jefferson** » 03 Jun 2005, 20:06

ecm wrote:Ali fancies having Wreckless Eric's "Final Taxi" played at his leaving do- I'd post the lyrics, but I can't find them anywhere on the net and can't be bothered to type them out .

Ah, Wreckless Eric. Superb choice. What a cool label Stiff was, and how appropriate for a funeral. Wreckless, Elvis Costello, The Damned. You could have a whole Stiff evening in fact. Please put me down for this event if Ali dies before me.

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 03 Jun 2005, 20:19

Bob Jefferson wrote: You could have a whole Stiff evening in fact.

It would be totally appropriate under the circumstances, wouldn't it?

A shame though that I'd have to wait for him to die to provide such a treat.

ali · Post by **ali** » 04 Jun 2005, 22:37

ecm wrote:
Bob Jefferson wrote: You could have a whole Stiff evening in fact.
It would be totally appropriate under the circumstances, wouldn't it?

A shame though that I'd have to wait for him to die to provide such a treat.

Threadkiller!!!!!!

Zargonian · Post by **Zargonian** » 14 Jun 2005, 13:49

Hmm let me think....

AC/DC: Highway to Hell
Stones: Sympathy for the Devil
Bowie: Ashes to Ashes

Then a few words by that crazy man Blake:
Auguries Of Innocence.

And a note on my coffin "I knew there was something wrong"

Then as a special surprise, the lid of the coffin pops open with a swish.
I jump out and say "fooled ya"....

Or not if the case may be......

Zargonian · Post by **Zargonian** » 14 Jun 2005, 13:58

I can see it now Novastar.

You in in yer box, with your girl guides outfit on.
And all the the gang around you singing "Ging-gang-gooly".....

And the inscription:
"What hardware, what Operating System?"
"Sorry I don't know that one".

Remember Novastar:
"Hardware, Operating System, Application"
What's irq 7?

Novastar · Post by **Novastar** » 14 Jun 2005, 14:21

Zargonian wrote: And the inscription:
"What hardware, what Operating System?"
"Sorry I don't know that one".

More likely 'Post Hoc Ergo Proptor Hoc'

Latin for Just cause I was using your system doesn't mean I broke it

Talk Porty ~ Portobello

Your Funeral

Your Funeral

Your Funeral

Novastar the "Techie's" Funeral