Odious Advert/Slogans

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 29 Aug 2004, 02:20

A pet detestastion of mine, indeed I'm probably more obtuse than GM-n-Eye on this subject.

The first Ad i would like to bring to your attention is the Allinsons Strap Line.

"With nowt' taken out"

WTF does that mean?

It means we can put in whatever additives, enhancers, emulsifiers, provers, Enumbers etc. It means that if our manufacturing process was as natural as we try to convey, then, if a seagull flew by and shit in our bread mix. Then I am afraid that due to our customer commitment statement "we cant take it out".

Luckily, our manufacturing process is conducted almost entirely in a factory. The only possible eventuallity that we could not take corrective action upon is if one of our consumptive operatives took a dump in the mix. What could we do? Nothin Im afraid cos' at Allinsons we firmly believe that there is "Nowt taken Out"

What Ads do make you mad?

Dadaist · Post by **Dadaist** » 29 Aug 2004, 08:11

Anything that says "Nothing is better than xxx".

Which to me reads as "Even if you didn't put in any powder at all, you'd get a better result than if you used Sud-U-Like, which we are trying to hawk."

xxxx · Post by **xxxx** » 29 Aug 2004, 08:28

This thread must rate as a classic , second only to the ever reliable 'have you heard the rubbish that's in the charts these days' stuff.
As colour television consists of little but adverts these days
( adverts for programme sponsors followed by product ads, followed by forthcoming programmes adverts followed by station branding all served with a delicate sliver of sponsor friendly content in between)
I would implore you not to get mad, but get used to it
Failing that, at the end of your leg you should find a shoe, you can throw it at the television when things get too much

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 29 Aug 2004, 09:49

Wrinkles can appear 7 years younger if you spend exorbitant amounts of cash on products advertised by a sword-fencing, crap actress who looks like she's dooked in an acid bath.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 29 Aug 2004, 11:06

Halifax: "always giving you Extra".

Notice, how the sentence stops at the word extra.

Would you care to specify what the Extra things you are always giving us might be?

Is it benefits, money, preferential rates? Oh, you would rather not say. Surely if you were giving us some decent extra things you would want to tell us all what they are?

If you look at the small print in the HBOS contracts, if you look at the sleight of hand in their advertising then you see that they are in fact among the lowest of the low. The sickest thing is that the advert actually refers to all of the extra costs they ladle into their products.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 29 Aug 2004, 11:20

xxxx wrote:This thread must rate as a classic , second only to the ever reliable 'have you heard the rubbish that's in the charts these days' stuff.
As colour television consists of little but adverts these days
( adverts for programme sponsors followed by product ads, followed by forthcoming programmes adverts followed by station branding all served with a delicate sliver of sponsor friendly content in between)
I would implore you not to get mad, but get used to it
Failing that, at the end of your leg you should find a shoe, you can throw it at the television when things get too much

I think you are missing the point somewhat. Anyway, I watch TV barefooted.

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 29 Aug 2004, 12:43

To pick up on the HBOS theme Porty how about those Michael Winner car insurance ads? Don't they really want to make you chuck up?

Calm down dear!!!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 29 Aug 2004, 13:49

Marya wrote:To pick up on the HBOS theme Porty how about those Michael Winner car insurance ads? Don't they really want to make you chuck up?

They do indeed. Another HBOS company.

I just detest the carefully chosen language that just doesn't say what they want you to believe they said.

bellybabe · Post by **bellybabe** » 29 Aug 2004, 22:30

Never normally watch TV so miss most ads, but last night saw one for Iceland with the horrific slogan "Because mums are heroes". That really made my blood boil. Firstly because of the absolute sexism and family-ism the assumption suggests - only women shop for food, and therefore presumably cook, and only ones with children can shop at Iceland? As a mum who does indeed do most of the shopping and cooking in our household, I can admit to my own food-snobbery and say i wouldn't dream of shopping at Iceland. I've only ever seen them advertise so-called "children's" food like chicken nuggets and other things that have never seen an animal, so my assumptions are based on that rather than any attempt to shop there. If I bought things like that my children would indeed see me as a hero...until they reach 25.
And anyway, if they are going to be so sexist, they might as well go the whole hog - surely mums must be heroines?

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 30 Aug 2004, 20:20

Don't know that it counts as odious but the advert, actually, I have to admit that I'm not sure what it's for, that features lots of Bobby Robson's heads stuck on an assortment of bodies really freaks me out!

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 19 Sep 2004, 13:52

"Quote me Happy" isn't that one quite realistic? FUCKING NOT!! Still it has succeeded in persuading me to never ever buy a product from Norwich Union. The advert is Howard -like in its repulsion.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » 21 Sep 2004, 14:10

The very patronising male voice on the Scottish Power 'Ways to Save Energy" adverts, and the equally patronising graphics .......

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 21 Sep 2004, 21:31

The new ones for chocolate with those horribly lifelike animals with Happiness tags in their ears

ALMOST put me off eating the stuff for a whole hour.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 21 Sep 2004, 21:39

What about the lying doggy bastard on the Churchill Advert?

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 21 Sep 2004, 21:49

Aw I like him! I loved the one with the aliens when he said "Go Home" and the wee alien went "No". Cracked me up!

General Tactifer · Post by **General Tactifer** » 21 Sep 2004, 22:38

Jay wrote:The very patronising male voice on the Scottish Power 'Ways to Save Energy" adverts ...

Sorry?! Is that not our very own Ronnie Corbett?

Post by **wangi** » 21 Sep 2004, 23:07

General Tactifer wrote:
Jay wrote:The very patronising male voice on the Scottish Power 'Ways to Save Energy" adverts ...
Sorry?! Is that not our very own Ronnie Corbett?

It is, but he still comes across as an arse.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » 22 Sep 2004, 13:15

I hadn't recognised Ronnie Corbett, I must confess, but I still hate the voice in that context. As Wangi says ........

Has anyone noticed the very sexist advert outside the garage at King's Road? The one for burgers (or for a burger oven, I'm not sure which), which has an entirely gratuitous girlie in a bikini draped over the oven. I'm sure the male POLs have noticed it,

but unless I'm missing something, the girl has ess oh dee all to do with the actual product, which is why I find it offensive.

General Tactifer · Post by **General Tactifer** » 25 Sep 2004, 00:10

Jay wrote:The one for burgers (or for a burger oven, I'm not sure which), which has an entirely gratuitous girlie in a bikini draped over the oven.

I'd heard this was due to an innocent typo - the brief was for an attractive-looking GRILL.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » 28 Sep 2004, 11:39

General Tactifer wrote:
Jay wrote:The one for burgers (or for a burger oven, I'm not sure which), which has an entirely gratuitous girlie in a bikini draped over the oven.
I'd heard this was due to an innocent typo - the brief was for an attractive-looking GRILL.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Oct 2004, 13:32

"We are Saving......"

To the tune of Rod Stewart's Sailing is the latest offering from the vomit inducing HBOS group.

Wish i could remember what ricky Gervais called Howard in The Office Xmas special.

rathbone · Post by **rathbone** » 27 Oct 2004, 15:19

And they have the cheek to say you get 7% interest.

What they don't say is that the maximum you can put into the account is Ã‚Â£250 per month. If you did put in Ã‚Â£250 per month, then your annual interest on the Ã‚Â£3,000 deposited is more like 3% - i.e. like a poorly performing ISA.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 27 Oct 2004, 15:46

The account only runs for a year so at a max of Ã‚Â£250 per month. The maximum average balance achievable in the account during that year is Ã‚Â£1500. So 7% of that is Ã‚Â£105. YOU COULD EARN A MASSIVE Ã‚Â£105!!! Well worth a whole office of 100's of people standing up and singing don't you think?

(After tax that could be as much as Ã‚Â£80!!!!! THEY ARE ALWAYS GIVING EVERYONE EXTRA!!)

Just think if you paid the same Ã‚Â£250 into the Credit Card Balance you are carrying you could "save" about 17% or Ã‚Â£255. And with no tax implications that means you would be more than 300% better off than the bunch of coats singing on the adverts.

Odious, mendacious, decietful you name it HBOS will manage a bit extra.

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 27 Oct 2004, 16:22

True story,honestly!
A work colleague has a friend who has just had a baby in hospital in Aberdeen. In the same ward there was a couple who had decided - despite many voices trying to dissuade them- to call their new baby girl Febreeze. Ah, the power of advertising

Jay · Post by **Jay** » 27 Oct 2004, 18:32

Blimey - now you've started a topic, Marya! The names people give their bairns! How about

Sirene - for those girl-babies born during the air-raids (true)

- all the poor bairns who got named after entire football teams

- and I suppose 'Febreze' is just the 21st. century equivalent of all the Puritan and Non-Conformist children who got saddled with 'Praise the Lord' and 'Word of God' and so on, in the 17th. and 18th. centuries.

And yes, I too hate the 'Sailing' advert.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 03 Nov 2004, 20:34

First Active Bank (Part of RBOS) are currently running an ad where the actor opens a window to ask people if they keep switching mortgage because there current lender offers better deals to new customers than they do to existing customers.

"Not us" mock First Active, "we offer the same deals to our existing customers as we do to new customers"

Can anyone work out the loophole?

Maria · Post by **Maria** » 03 Nov 2004, 22:23

Em...it's a rubbish deal?

Epykat · Post by **Epykat** » 03 Nov 2004, 22:28

That new advert for whatever with the Liverpudlian woman trying to convince us she's "17" - aaaaargh! It's doin me ead in

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 03 Nov 2004, 22:35

Marya wrote:Em...it's a rubbish deal?

Nope!!

"Not us" mock First Active, "we offer the same deals to our existing customers as we do to new customers"

Have you ever heard of First Active?

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 03 Nov 2004, 23:20

Great News. The annoying guy with the glasses off the HBOS ads has been given the boot in Scotland. He will remain in the English ads but they have only just realised he has not connected with the traditional customer base of the BoS!
I could have told them that for a few thousand quid less than the Consultants will have charged them!!!!!!!!

P.S. Blondie lass is staying in Scottish ads however.

Porty · Post by **Porty** » 03 Nov 2004, 23:30

Pal of Porty wrote:P.S. Blondie lass is staying in Scottish ads however.

I wouldn't with yours.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 Apr 2005, 17:34

The young lad in Threshers/Victoria Wine/Haddows was telling me that Howard made a visit to HBOS in the High Street at lunchtime today to sign autographs!

When he first saw the placards he thought it was the leader of the Conservative Party that they were heralding!

ecm · Post by **ecm** » 13 Apr 2005, 19:38

Poppy wrote:The young lad in Threshers/Victoria Wine/Haddows was telling me that Howard made a visit to HBOS in the High Street at lunchtime today to sign autographs!

Poppy, stop pretending that (a) you're not on first name terms with all the staff in the offie and (b) you weren't first in the queue for Howie's autograph.

Poppy · Post by **Poppy** » 13 Apr 2005, 19:47

Ecm, envy is a terrible thing! Just because you didn't get to met Howie-Baby!!

Pal of Porty · Post by **Pal of Porty** » 14 Apr 2005, 12:33

Howie is meant to be dropped from Scotland as well. He has really brassed off loads of HBoS customers up here and the bank has received numerous complaints. I can't think why.................